The Gottman-Rapoport Conversation

It's a structured conflict conversation where each partner takes a turn as speaker and listener, and the listener has to summarize the speaker's position to their satisfaction before anyone moves to persuasion or compromise. It comes from the Gottman Method, which adapted it from conflict researcher Anatol Rapoport.

Because most conflict stalls when each person is arguing to be understood rather than listening. Summarizing first proves you heard your partner, which lowers defensiveness and makes compromise possible.

Yes. This page has a free printable PDF of the Gottman-Rapoport conversation that you can download, print, and bring to a session or use at home. It lays out the speaker rules and the four-step listener protocol on one sheet.

Each partner takes turns as speaker and listener. The speaker describes their side with a soft start-up and 'I' statements. The listener works the four steps (prepare, attune, summarize, validate) and reflects it back until the speaker feels understood, before anyone moves to persuasion or compromise. The printable walks through each step.